Most of the reason I've been thinking this week is that I am now realizing that (for me), this year I am using this as an excuse for a 'rebirth'.
According to dictionary.com:
re·birth[ree-burth, ree-burth] Show IPA
So, going with this thought, today I am using as a rebirth of my life. I have gone through the worst hell imaginable in the last year & I no longer am wanting to use this as an excuse for my actions or thoughts. I want my thoughts to only be happy, positive and thoughtful to myself and those around me. I also want to make sure that I don't use it as an excuse to let my life stray.
No more am I going to do this to myself.
I know I can't just snap my fingers and it'll be better or make the sadness and hurt magically disappear. I also want to know in my heart that it will get better. It's going to take some time and effort on my part.
I still have goals to accomplish this year and I am planning on doing them. I know that as badly as I want to start some goals...I cannot jump in without the initiative to succeed. That is the hardest part of any recovery is finding the steps which you need to start to go forward....and not look back.
Coming up on an anniversary of sorrow for the first time is truly hard....I shall hope that this type of sorrow I won't have to experience again. It'll be easier next time but the first time is always the hardest in anything we do.
On another note....one of the people I admire just posted a blog which similarly goes along with my post. So I shall leave you with this one: