Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Missing...

I still keep in touch with some of my (soon to be ex) in laws and I have to admit, that is one of the things I miss most about my marriage.  My in laws are amazing.  I couldn't have hoped for a nicer family to be welcomed into and I hate that I'm no longer a part of their family.  It makes me sad. 

I know it will get easier but a part of me will be sad this year around the holidays without going over to their house, enjoying watching the kids open their presents, laughing, playing board games and posing for photos. 

It's been a hard day.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Realization

As I'm sitting in the bar watching football with my girlfriends, a plate of wings in front of me and a tall frosty Sprite, I had a realization.  I am happy.

Happy in the fact that it's exciting to rediscover who I am, what I like and what I want to be.  Happy in the fact that although my marriage didn't work out, at least I had the opportunity to be in a relationship and had love in my life.  My life is fuller, more enriched now that I've had this alternate path.  I love that I feel okay with everything going on.  Part of me wishes that I could bring back the happiness that my ex and I once had, however it didn't last for a reason and I believe that we are given what we are given to make ourselves stronger.

For the first time in my life, I'm going to put my dreams ahead of my realizations.  I am going to work to do whatever I have to do to get where I want as I am tired of dreaming.  I want this to be my life and make my choices mirror what I desire.  Above all, I know that no matter what, my best friends and my family will give me the reminders of what I need to make it.  And no one person, is going to stop me.

Friday, September 24, 2010

In with the new, out with the old

I had a great time today.  I went to Old Navy and shopped through a plethera (my fave word) of clearance items.  My hunt did not go unrewarded as I found 2 pairs of yoga pants, flip flops, 4 tank tops and a chemise top for $15.  I actually went in to buy 1 shirt (GO BEARS!!) and became side tracked by shiny clearance stickers which then led me to actually read a sign saying an extra 50% off.  Hello Old Navy :)

It's been a while since I've actually had a chance to do some shopping.  I know I should have kept the $15 and put it towards my new wireless router, but really...it was fun!  Plus I ran into a co-worker while there so we had fun trolling around the store together.

Okay so part of the blogging that I'll be doing is updating my steps on my life list.  Tomorrow I am working on purging the old, unloved, unused.  It's a pain in the butt, but really if I want to be 'move ready' then I need to get down to basics.  Part of my process, I subscribe to a great blog called Simple. Organized. Life.  http://simpleorganizedlife.com/  I enjoy this blog because 1) the blogs are short and 2) it's fun to read what he's cleaned out to make life better.  As we all become more ecologically conscious, part of this movement is remembering we don't need a lot of 'stuff' to make life better or more interesting; we just need enough to make it ours.

-Coles

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Newly Divorced

Newly Divorced.  That sounds weird doesn't it.  How about on to road to true happiness or no longer having to worry about how this will disrupt someone else's life?  Either way, that's what I'm  heading for and I'm okay with it.  My (soon to be ex) husband and I made it a whopping 2.5 years.  amazing.  I'm a statistic.

I hate to admit that I really enjoy being single, but I sincerely am enjoying it.  I've been so busy I've hardly been home.  It's amazing how many people want to do stuff with you when you dump something they didn't like...it's like leaving behind that stinky old sofa that no one would sit on but you.  Now everyone wants to sit on your new sofa.

Other than the new sofas (which I have 2 now) and the new bedsheets, curtains, etc, there is other new things too.  One is starting to figure out that I know what I want to be when I grow up.  I feel less like Peter Pan and have a Wendy aspect on life.  Unless you saw Hook, then in that version I'm more like...okay sorry.
Anyway, I made a list of things that I will be doing over the next year or so.  Now 1 or 2 of these will be  work in progress (WIP), however I'm definitely setting these goals to be started this year.  Here goes:
1.  Continue to look for a new job
2.  Save up to move
3.  Enroll in School
4.  Start to learn a new language
5.  Remember my family & friends
6.  Try to become more activie and even try 1 new activity
7.  Stick with the lifestyle eating changes
8.  HAVE FUN!!!

As I made my list I realized the one thing lacking most from my life in the last few years is fun.  Sad really as I thought I was with someone to help make my life fun, needless to say it was only frustrating and interesting.  Interesting as in wow, thats a big bug on the wall.

I'll keep you posted on the list, but the #1 task is on it's way and #5 is going well.  #6 is starting next month and #7 I already started and I've had some great results. :) yay!