Sunday, April 10, 2011

Different

I'm Different.  Different good, different bad...doesn't really matter but I know for sure that I do not fit in any type of cookie cutter life.  I guess the hardest part is figuring out what parts belong in which cutter.  It seems as though most people have an idea of where they fit in, only have to tweak a few things, and voila! cutter.  Me?  definitely have to do a part here, shade there, stop this, start that...it's extremely frustrating.  The hardest part is dealing with my parents because I have this persona that I must display when dealing with each parent.

 I usually act more like myself around my dad, but only to a certain degree.  My happy go lucky self that's laid back, relaxed and never stressed or worried.

Then I have another person which must be displayed around my mom of cunning smartness, trying to constantly prove myself, and being the model daughter.

Alas, I'm not very good at holding up either one for very long.

I think that is one thing we all want in life is that we are accepted no matter who we are, how we act or what our beliefs are or values we hold dear.  I know for me that there are very few people who understand me or that I even get along with on a more personal level.  I'm extremely particular about who I allow into my inner circle and I don't know if that really hurts or helps.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to others and should remember to revel in my uniqueness and spontaneity which drives my life, however there are some days where I would love to have the cookie cutter life.  It's much easier to be accepted in life by people around you to be cookie cutter than to be unique....which is sad in its own way.

Sorry for the debbie downer posting, but I had a rough day.

-N

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